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You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone

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It’s been a difficult few weeks at work. Lots of rumour, worry and it turns out a lot more stress than I realised. Everything came to a head this week and I finally knew that everything thing was going to be OK and that my job was safe. Once this sank in fully I really could feel a weight off me both physically and mentally. On Friday evening I realised just how much stress I’d been carrying and the release of that left me feeling almost giddy!

Mourne Mountains

Despite, or maybe because of the stress I was out walking with the Bluestack Ramblers last weekend. It was a Club weekend away to the Mourne Mountains. I wasn’t able to make the whole weekend but I was able to make one day. With encouragement from one of the organisers I headed across on the Saturday morning. That day suited me best, it was the most interesting of the walks and the weather looked decent. Thankfully I did pick Saturday, as Sunday turned into a complete washout and that day’s walk was abandoned.

A 5am alarm saw me on the road for 6am and pulling into the Bloody Bridge car park shortly after 8:30am. On the way I realised that I was just 15min from one of my regular shop calls and that a trip to the Mournes should be a much more regular excursion for me. I’d always felt that it was a much bigger journey and one that needed an overnight stay. I was in bed early on Friday night and had a solid 7 hours sleep. If I’d camped or slept in a hostel I probably wouldn’t have got anything close to that. Expect more Mournes trip reports here from now on!

We weren’t meeting until 9am so I had loads of time for a second breakfast and to get ready. All I knew was that the walk was to Chimney Rock Mountain. It turned out to be a very enjoyable there-and-back walk up from Bloody Bridge to the Mourne Wall before heading up to the Chimney Rock summit at 656m.

The walk up follows a rugged but distinct path along The Bloody Bridge River. Crossing the river at a very picturesque ford we picked up a wide gravel path that leads to an abandoned quarry where we had a short break before continuing on to the Mourne Wall along a rougher track once again.

From the car park and all the way up we had lovely sunny and warm weather with barely a breath of wind until just below the crest close to the Wall. The weather was on the change though.

Leaving the Wall a layer was quickly added as the thickening cloud came in and dropped, threatening rain and bringing with it a significant breeze. The views were quickly disappearing and we were soon in the cloud from approximately 580m. As the cloud thickened further the wind picked up and with spots of rain and a significant windchill waterproofs, gloves and hats soon appeared.

Chimney Rock has an impressive summit cairn but no views for us today as the weather had closed in completely.

With a strong, cold wind we didn’t hang around long and were soon retracing our steps through the limited visibility. Conditions had worsened a lot but we dropped out of the cloud just above the Wall again. The Wall itself provided a perfect wind break for lunch as the clouds gradually lifted.

Fed and watered we headed back down to the quarry and followed the river back to the car park with the clouds continuing to clear and finishing once again in the sun.

A hugely enjoyable day out in good company in very different terrain than what I’m used to. Getting home just before 6pm only reinforced how accessible the Mournes are.

⛰️ Chimney Rock Mountain 656m
👣 12.25km
⛰️ 729m elevation gain
⏱️ 6hrs 1min total time
⏱️ 3hrs 47min moving time

Back In Donegal

This weekend past I was closer to home. My best friend Jim was over from Scotland for a family wedding in Derry and we managed to carve out a couple of hours to meet up on Saturday morning. We headed for Inch Wildfowl Reserve and the loop walk there that explores both the coast and the island using the two artificial causeways.

It’s a great location. Lovely flat paths, well signposted with a good surface, toilets and a couple of hides. Also, lots of birds but neither of us are really ornithologists* and we are were too busy chatting and catching up after a long time not having met in person. Almost 8km in just over an hour and a half but it flew by.

*We did have one bird argument. I think I win and that it was a grebe but that may have been a win for confidence over truth 🫣🤣

Leaving Jim I headed straight for Fintown. I’m leading a walk up Aghla Mountain on November 1st. Considering the last time I was up there was November 2012 I figured I’d be better off doing a recce first!

Rosie was with me in 2012 💔

The car park is at the Glenties end of Lough Finn and driving out of Fintown Aghla rises impressively on the left, above the lake. When you get out of the car it’s looming directly above and feels more like a wall than a mountain!

A short road walk along the Lough brings you to a gate beside a small house that marks the entry point to the hill. If you’re lucky you might make some new friends here…

They followed me for a bit until I crossed a gully

Hitting the hill after the gully and it’s straight into UP! The first section contours across the hill so it’s not quite as tough on the legs and lungs but soon after crossing a fence it’s straight up and even steeper. It’s not quite scrambling but not far off and I made good use of the poles to make sure of every step. I didn’t fancy sliding backwards on that slope!

The views come quick and fast on steep ground

Climbing up to and around the side of a rocky crag, towering above me, I finally made it to a flatter area to catch my breath. 2km in 1 hour including the walk in along the road!

More locals keeping a close eye, not as friendly this time

Having caught my breath and settled my legs that were in shock after the easy 8km in the morning it was back to Up again. More steep, rocky and really enjoyable ground and I eventually reached a small rocky crag at 545m overlooking a pair of unnamed lakes just below. Another cracker spot to have a short break and a quick snack to make the final push to the summit. From the crag I could see the trigpoint on the rocky top.

Dropping off the crag I briefly descended approximately 20m into a shallow, squelchy gulley before hitting more rocky ground and heading for the summit. Navigating through rocky outcrops I almost stumbled upon the trigpoint at 593m getting there quicker and easier than I had expected. 1hr 45min for just under 3.5km but not bad considering how slow the first, steep ascent was.

There’s a second summit (Aghla South Top) at 589m. My original plan was to head over there before returning to the summit and descending. However, my legs were tired from the morning and I was much later in the day than normal so decided to save the extra 1km and keep it for the Club walk instead.

There was a significant breeze on the summit with a cold edge but the rocky top provided a nice windbreak that allowed me to sit in the sun in comfort and enjoy my lunch.

The view from the summit is fantastic. It’s a true 360 and with high cloud and bright sunshine I was able to enjoy it to the full. One of the best Donegal mountain views in my opinion.

The descent was very enjoyable. A nice rocky section along the top before dropping down but nothing as steep as the climb up. The ground was squelchy but not boggy and was easy enough walking. It also gave me a chance to practice some of my recent navigation training matching the map to the ground and taking some bearings.

With cliffs towering above and a small stream accompanying me the first descent was very enjoyable, reminding me a bit of Binevenagh.

Before long I was on the final drop off the hill and on to the rough track that heads through the forest along the edge of the lake and back to where my hairy friends were waiting to say goodbye.

The forest seems to have been left unmanaged for a good few years so there were a number of trees down across the track but nothing that couldn’t be clambered over or around. Loads of streams crossing the path and neglect gave it a nice wild feel that you don’t often get in plantations.

Back along the tarmac track the way I came in and I was back at the car, tired but smiling. I was delighted I’d made the decision to go ahead with this walk despite the late start. Really enjoyable and perfect weather. A nice way to celebrate the end of the week.

⛰️ Aghla Mountain 593m (Bluestack Mountains)
👣 7.9km
⛰️ Elevation Gain: 537m
⏱️ Total Time: 3hr 45min
⏱️ Moving Time: 2hr 18min

Paying Attention?

So what’s missing from the last two weeks? Yeah, not much cycling. I did manage one evening spin after work on the 23rd. It was a lovely sunny evening that meant a dangerously low setting sun so my planned 40km route became 33km to use the Greenway and stay off the roads as much as possible on my way home.

With Autumn coming in, shortening days and messy weather I’m finding it difficult to motivate myself out on the bike. Thankfully, I’m really enjoying the hillwalking and I have a feeling that will be my main activity over the Winter.

The Final Family Event Of The Year

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I wrote my last post on a Saturday morning when laziness overcame motivation. The weather forecast was for a band of very heavy rain and thunderstorms overnight Friday, bad enough to issue an Orange weather warning from 1-7am.

I figured there would be lots of surface water and crap on the roads Saturday morning so opted out of the Club cycle and enjoyed a lie-in instead.

Of course Saturday morning wasn’t as bad as expected but having made the decision I was unable to get motivated to get out solo.

Saturday wasn’t a waste though as we became a 4 car household once again!

With the exam and college application marathon finally over Conor now needs to focus on getting his driving license. He had lessons last year and was insured on Catriona’s car, but it was far too big and cumbersome for him as a learner and with the focus on his Leaving Certificate, driving took a back seat 🙊 The Polo is a perfect learner car and once he has his license will give him a level of independence that will hopefully compensate for living at home while at college.

I was back in the hills on Sunday, this time with the Hiking Club. The destination was Silver Hill in The Bluestack Mountains. At 600m it’s just about qualifies as a Vandeleur-Lynam summit and, by default, is also an Arderin. It is the joint smallest V-L sharing the honour with Castle Hill in Kerry.

I was up here in December last year on Cooper’s first venture into the hills. Despite being less than a year ago I couldn’t remember any of the walk after the reservoir. Also despite having a distinctive summit cairn and great views I couldn’t remember the top either! I guess I was more stressed having Cooper with me that day than I realised. Of course, having a leader that knows and sets the route makes for a very relaxing day.

I was surprised at the low turnout. It was a great day but only 5 plus the leader made it.

Close to the parking area I got a low pressure warning on my rear passenger tyre. Once parked up it was clear I had a flat! I decided to forget about it until after the walk. Worst case if I couldn’t get it sorted then Catriona could come pick me up and I could organise an emergency service to sort it on Monday.

Arriving back at the car after the walk I used the electronic pump and jar of sealant to get the tyre inflated (no spare wheel in this car!). Coming into Donegal Town it felt soft again and another inflation got me to a couple of km outside of Ballybofey. On the third inflation I heard a hiss of escaping air and it was clear that the tyre had failed. The wheel was safe so long as I avoided any potholes and figuring the tyre was going to be replaced anyway, I pushed on into Ballybofey and left it in the yard of the tyre centre to be sorted on Monday.

I’d booked Monday as a day off a few weeks ago. I had some annual leave to use up and it was also Owen’s 21st birthday 🥳 Catriona was at work so we held all the presents, cake, etc until Monday evening but the two boys and myself went to Jacksons Hotel for lunch once the car was sorted and retrieved. It’s rare for just the three of us to be together like this and we had a lovely afternoon before celebrating properly in the evening with Catriona.

I was back at work on Tuesday and that’s Club Spin evening. However, I’ve decided I’m not mentally ready for night riding yet so my plan is to cycle solo earlier on a Tuesday and/or Thursday and cycle with the Club at the weekend. If I can get home and out the door by around 5:30pm then I should be able to get a decent 30-40km in before dark for a few more weeks.

My plan didn’t work out great for the first week! I ended up having a longer day than expected on Tuesday and in a pattern that was to last all week, didn’t get home until well after 6pm. I did however, have enough momentum to still get out Tuesday evening for a short spin. Unfortunately, Thursday was very windy and I was knackered after a long day so ended up not doing anything!

I had vague plans to cycle on Saturday but the chance to grab a bit of a lie-in won me over. We also had a celebration get together for Owen’s 21st on Saturday evening so I figured I’d be best to be around the house to help clean and tidy rather than leaving everything to Catriona. I also had plans to go hillwalking on Sunday morning so wanted to keep fresh legs.

With a later than planned finish to the night it turned out that my hillwalking plans were a bit optimistic! Sleepy heads kept us in bed until well after 9am but I didn’t regret it as the chance to get up reasonably refreshed was worth it and will hopefully give me a better run at the week ahead.

It’s a cracker day here today so in an effort not to waste the day completely I did get out for a solo spin on the bike. I decided to keep it reasonably sensible with a planned 33km ride that I pushed out to 37km. I didn’t expect or appreciate the very cool headwind on the way out but when I turned for home it was a very enjoyable tailwind with lovely warm sunshine. Hopefully not the last of this weather for the year.

The news last weekend was full of Trump’s visit to Ireland. The venue for the Irish Open Golf was his hotel at Doonbeg so there was no keeping him away. He did the usual official visits but also made an unexpected commentary on the possibility of a United Ireland. The memes were wild but this was my favourite (may not translate well out of Ireland).

The SDLP were the quickest off the mark with this theme:

Trump is also throwing his toys out of the pram over the invitation by the EU to Canada to become the first associate member. This article made me smile this morning:

Be Kind To Your Knees, You’ll Miss Them When They’re Gone

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Wear Sunscreen

After my aborted walk in Inishowen on Sunday I was quite pissed off with the lack of fitness and tiredness I had felt. I got it into my head that my lack of exercise over the last couple of months was to blame and that the struggle was down to lack of leg strength. Somehow I managed to convince myself that starting a weekly kettlebell routine had been put off for too long and I got up half an hour early on Monday morning to complete this routine:

I manged the warmup, getting “warmer” than I expected and just about managed one rep of the actual routine. I’m pretty sure it’s listed as a beginner routine but it knocked me for six!

I’m sure the previous day’s hill was partly to blame but my legs were complaining all day and once the DOMS kicked in on Tuesday morning I was limping for the next few days! Humbling would be the most generous phrase I could use…..

Feeling sorry for myself all week and a busy week at work, with hassles I wasn’t in the mood to deal with, left me feeling pretty shit and mentally I had a tough few days trying to keep myself from sliding too far. By the time I got to the end of the week I was more than ready for a spin on the bike. It had been 3.5 weeks since my last spin and it had reached the stage where I was really missing it. We had a good group out on the Saturday morning and a good mix that were definitely leaning towards a leisure ride. We settled for a 40km loop to Raphoe via Liscooley which suited me perfectly as I didn’t want to shock the legs too much.

It turned out that this spin was exactly what I needed for both body and mind with a much needed reset for both!

With the evenings drawing in quickly now the Club Tuesday and Thursday evening spins are getting into that dodgy land where the light is poor and we’re finishing in the dark. I don’t like cycling in those conditions, even with lights and reflective gear, so I planned to get out solo at about 5:30pm each evening instead. Unfortunately, work intervened on both Tuesday and Thursday leaving me home after 6pm each evening. The weather has turned autumnal again very quickly too which definitely didn’t help.

As always, at this time of the year, my mind has turned towards the possibility of indoor training but I’ve tried that and I can’t seem to get into the groove. The boredom factor is usually too strong for me! I’m also toying with the idea of trying running again but I am definitely leaning more towards “rucking”. You can find out here exactly what it is but it’s basically walking with a weighted bag for strength building. I have a feeling that that might be more effective for me for hillwalking and cycling, maintaining strength during the week and also be less liable to create an injury like running has done for me before. We’ll see how that goes as the lure of the sofa is also strong at the minute!

On Saturday Catriona and myself did something very different and went to a local music festival called Oakfest. It’s been on for a number of years now but this year it was headlined by Bob Geldof and The Boomtown Rats with The Stunning on as the main backup. It’s astounding to think that the actual Bob Geldof was in Raphoe playing to a crowd of 2000 max especially having opened the previous week for Bon Jovi at Croke Park! I’m not in any way a Rats fan but the show was brilliant. At 74 he was full of energy and really engaging with the crowd. The finisher in particular was fab!

The Stunning were also excellent. I only knew a few of their songs but the rest were good enough to go along with and they finished with the excellent “Brewing Up a Storm” that is their biggest hit.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/964208120028443

Ruaile Buaile were on stage and pretty good when we arrived but SuperCeili played in between The Stunning and The Bootown Rats and they were fantastic. Full of energy and really got the crowd going.

The whole night wrapped up at 11pm and with a willing son to collect us, less than 20min from home it wasn’t long before we were back home and in bed shortly after midnight like all good Cinderellas! My knees though….they were definitely protesting the 6 hours on my feet lepping around like a young one! They were throbbing so much I had a hard time getting off to sleep! Thankfully, they were much better the following morning…

Running on Empty

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This week was an unplanned experiment to see how I can cope with about 60% of my normal sleep. Official results are still pending but I can say for sure, it wasn’t pretty!

I started the week with about 5 hours sleep, getting up at 4:30am on Monday morning to leave the boys to Belfast airport to get a 7am flight to Manchester and meet up with Catriona and the others. The original plan was that all of them would go together on the Sunday but the scheduling of the first (and unfortunately, disappointing) Championship game on Sunday afternoon required a change of plans for the two boys.

I had scheduled myself to work in and around Belfast that day but the early flight meant I still had two hours to fill before I would be welcome in any shop. I managed to fill part of the time with a giant sausage and bacon bap that almost made up for the early start.

Not my photo. Mine didn’t survive long enough!

I got through the day surprisingly well but it was a very long drive home from Belfast that afternoon that required more than one short power nap to avoid the noddies! No surprise, I was in bed early that night.

Tuesday evening I somehow managed to get out for the Club Spin. The longer spin was also the fastest group and way out of my league so I was happy to go with the shorter 40km group. Still a good bit of climbing involved.

Catriona and the boys were due back that night. When their flight was delayed by 30-40min I offered to go collect them from Lifford, saving my sister in law at least half an hour on the journey home. I figured I wouldn’t sleep until they got home anyway.

Getting to bed at 1am my brain went into overdrive and it was about 3am by the time I was asleep and back up again at 7am. Unfortunately, my scheduling wasn’t as good this time and Wednesday was my long day of the month with visits in Ardee, Drogheda and Dundalk!

By the time Thursday rolled around I was mostly recovered but was wary of the Club spin. The radar was showing thunderstorms and I just didn’t fancy it. Turned out the five guys that did go out got caught in a huge thunder plump and were absolutely drenched. No actual thunder but they said the rain was at dangerous levels for cycling.

Saturday morning there were no bikes as we instead had our Club day out with a hike to Slieve League, dinner in the Rusty Mackerel and drinking and dancing for the evening in Donegal Town. 14 of us made the walk and 5 more joined us for dinner or dancing later in the day. A great day and night with perfect weather for the walk. It was another late one though, not getting home until 2am.

There wasn’t much of a lie in on Sunday morning as Catriona was up and away about 7am to join a group of friends from her gym for a morning hike. I stayed in bed until about 9am but I didn’t really sleep after she left. Sunday became a very lazy day, trying to recharge severely depleted batteries. It was mostly spent reading and watching TV as well as Star Wars: Rogue One having just finished S2 of Andor. A 1.5hr late afternoon snooze almost derailed my sleep last night but I went to bed happy to have booked Monday off on Annual Leave. Every now and again I manage to get it bang on!

This Week It Has Mostly Been Raining

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While the whole of Ireland is under a hosepipe ban and the South and East of the country are concerned about soil moisture contents and crop growth, it’s Summer as usual in Donegal! It’s warmer and probably drier than during the Winter but for some reason it feels harder to get out when we’ve been used to the dry and warm weather.

Monday was a Bank Holiday with us and as I’d booked the previous Friday off, it was the end of a four day weekend for me. I’d planned to cycle with the Club that morning but it was raining heavy at 8am and only one other guy had ticked the poll to say he was going out. I dropped him a message and went back to sleep. My legs were still quite achy and stiff from my Sliabh League walk on Sunday so I did manage a short, easy leg loosener later that evening. I’m not sure it had the desired effect!

Tuesday, I was working from home for the day, catching up from the couple of days off and planning my week ahead. The upside of this meant no rush to get home in time for the evening Club spin. Again I opted for a shorter ride as my legs still felt heavy and tired. I really need to work on my hill fitness! Despite a dry forecast we had persistent heavy drizzle for much of the ride. It wasn’t cold but it was definitely damp!

Wednesday saw the next instalment in Conor’s summer of fun with his Leaving Cert Prom. The last of his secondary school events, just the exam results to go now!

Thursday I was working a bit further from home in Ballymoney, Larne and Belfast meaning I didn’t get home until well after 6pm and too late to get out on the Club spin.

I was reasonably close to home on Friday and had planned to get out for an evening solo spin but there’s something about Friday evenings that really bring out the lazy side of me and I wasn’t arsed in the end.

Saturday I planned to go hillwalking. I fancied climbing a mountain that I was last up in 2012 and one I drive past quite often. It’s an impressive hill sitting above Lough Finn. I got away in good time but as I got closer the drizzle started and eventually turned to quite heavy rain. The radar showed more coming in for most of the morning and the summit was mostly obscured by cloud. I missed the views back in 2012 and didn’t fancy repeating this again so I decided to abandon those plans.

Rosie at the Summit in 2012. She loved the hills but hated stopping for photos.

On the way home I did a recce for another walk. It’s shorter and further east so I had a vague hope this would be an alternative. However, the rain and low cloud followed me. Not a wasted journey though as this could be a handy one for me on short notice.

The rain threatened at home all afternoon but eventually cleared without showing up so I managed a 4.7km walk around the local roads with Cooper. I also finally worked out the ideal lead length that allows him to sniff and explore without him running off or pulling the arms off me on a short lead.

I went to bed on Saturday night with vague hopes of getting back to Aghla and with a Plan B to head to the Sperrins instead. Catriona was up and away to Liverpool at 4:30am on the Sunday morning. When she woke me to say goodbye I could hear rain on the roof and when I woke later at 6am it was heavy and forecast to last until well after lunch. I eventually got up about 9am and spent a very lazy morning watching TV, reading and a very average film called “Shelter”.

It eventually dried up about 2pm which made watching the boys play their first Senior Championship game at 4pm a lot more enjoyable. Unfortunately, they played very poorly and were well beaten in a game they expected to win.

On the way home I decided it was too good an evening to waste and went straight from the car, into my gear and on to the bike for a 30km loop to Raphoe. Plenty of climbing for a short route and the stiffness seems to finally be gone!

Faster Than The Speed of Night

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I know we say it all the time but this year is flying. It seems like no time at all since my last post which was just over three months ago, or to put it another way, one quarter of the year.

It’s been an eventful 3 months for me but it’s taken me a long time to be able to put it in words.

What Happened?

My last post was at the end of April, just a few days before I had planned to complete my second Audax of the year. That didn’t go at all according to plan. The event was scheduled for Sunday 26th April but on the Saturday I had a massive panic attack about being able to do it and I ended up pulling out at 6am on the Sunday morning after a night of broken sleep and bad dreams. During the Sunday itself I had a complete meltdown! It was as bad a mental health experience as I’ve ever had and unfortunately, Catriona bore the brunt of it. I’m just thankful that she was so understanding and supportive as it was pretty ugly and I said and did things that I am far from proud of. Ever since I have been grateful every day for the love and support she gave me that weekend and in the months since.

Counselling

That weekend gave me a real scare. It shocked me how far I’d let myself go and it shocked me that I came very close to destroying my relationship with Catriona. My mental health had deteriorated gradually over a long period of time and it took that weekend to also shock me into action. Over the years I have tried a couple of different counsellors but a combination of lack of effort on my part and an inability to connect with the counsellor meant it never worked. However, this time was different. I found a counselling service online that is sponsored by the HSE (Ireland’s Health Service) called turn2me. This company provide 6 free counselling sessions with an online counsellor. I was dubious about how successful online, rather than in-person, counselling could be but at this point I was desperate and ready to try anything. The best part though was that I was able to start that same week.

They put me in touch with a guy called Paul and every Monday at 7pm we had an hour together over video. Paul was great and we connected very quickly on the first appointment. I felt very comfortable with him and pretty much vomited out all my issues in that first session which was pretty draining. Over the next 5 weeks Paul worked with me to identify how I was feeling, why I was feeling and behaving the way I was and gave me a lot of skills and techniques to finally begin to cope better and build myself back to where I want to be.

It hasn’t been all plain sailing. I had a bit of a wobble at the beginning of June and I’ve found the last couple of weeks a bit difficult but the key now is that I have ways of recognising and accepting how I feel and ways of coping and dealing with the feelings that don’t make me happy. I have a lot of work still to do but I’m confident that I can make progress and feeling better than I have for quite a long time.

That first week was pretty difficult. The amount of mental energy I had was severely limited and the weekend previous had left me feeling completely drained. I quickly realised that I was trying to juggle way too many things and that something(s) had to give. The priorities had to be my own mental health, my relationship with my family and work. I cut everything else. Cycling can and has been, a valuable tool to help my mental health but I’d somehow transformed it into another metric to measure myself against. I went from the 100km Audax Challenge to the Festive 500 and back to riding 200km events and setting personal challenges that I just wasn’t ready for. Cycling was no longer a relaxing and enjoyable hobby, it had become another stress point in my life that I had created and was beating myself up over.

Cycling

In the end I think I took nearly two weeks off the bike. I needed the time to reset and change my attitude towards cycling. I needed to get back to it being something I did for fun rather than to hit an arbitrary number or challenge. I also decided that Audax is no longer the thing for me (for now at least) and left all the Audax WhatsApp Groups. I also temporarily stepped back from PRO duties with my home Club. As well as resetting my attitude towards cycling I also didn’t have the mental energy to be dealing with people. This is no reflection on the friends I have within the Club, it was all about how I was feeling and I felt that I needed that break from people to reset. Through work I have to put so much energy into relationships with shop owners, sales staff and my own colleagues that I had nothing left at the end of a working day. I did share what I was going through with some of my friends from the Club and got messages of support that meant a lot and really did help, especially when I felt it was time to get back out again.

The first couple of rides took a fair bit of effort to get out and I think that’s part of the reason why I ended up with two weeks off instead of the one I had planned. Once the awkwardness (all in my own head as usual) was out of the way cycling definitely had changed, or rather I had changed. It was back to being more about the fun again. I dropped all my challenges and made it all about getting out again. Now my only aim is to try and get out twice a week where possible and not beat myself up about it when I don’t. I’m cycling regularly with the Club again and especially over the last 6 weeks I’m feeling good, feeling fit and enjoying myself. I’ve also taken back on my PRO duties in the last week or so which is good as someone else was having to cover for me and I didn’t want that going on for much longer.

Hillwalking

The Hiking Club helped too. I hadn’t been out for a Club walk since the middle of November when I’d completed the first phase of the Navigation Training in The Bluestacks. I had a solo hike to Silver Hill in December but until May I hadn’t been in the hills all year.

With Paul’s encouragement I reconnected with the Club and joined them for a hugely enjoyable trip out to Tory Island. I’d never been before and had a great day. It really helped that I knew all the other members pretty well that were out that day and enjoyed their company. A couple of others were also back after a bit of a gap so there was a real sense of welcome for everyone that was out that day. The scenery was amazing, the weather near perfect and we got to see an elusive corncrake, much to the annoyance of the “proper” birdwatchers who were visiting the island and were tortured by their multiple calls but no sightings.

The Hiking Club was a real tonic. I have a very different relationship with these people, much more superficial but supportive in a different way. They barely know me so I was able to relax and enjoy myself a little easier. The welcome back I received was really nice and in addition Joe was encouraging me to attend the second phase of the Navigation Training he was holding the following weekend. I did want to do this but felt awkward as I hadn’t been active in the Club for nearly 6 months but he was adamant that I should attend and I did. Again I enjoyed it a lot and as it was a small group I spent a lot of time talking to Joe. He was clearly lining me up and encouraging me to become a walk leader. This had been at the back of my mind but I didn’t feel that I had the skills for it. Joe’s encouragement and support from Paul at the counselling sessions saw me putting my name forward a few weeks later and when the new calendar came out my name was on it to lead a walk in July along with Joe.

I completed a solo recce walk at the end of May and on 19th July lead the walk with assistance from Joe. It turned out to be a larger than average group of 16 which was a bit daunting but we got everyone up and down safely. I got a real buzz from leading and I’ll definitely be putting my name forward for another one in the Winter calendar. Joe was very complimentary and everyone was full of praise for the route which made me feel really good.

Since then I’ve only had one hike which was at the weekend on a solo recce of the Sliabh League cliff walk. We’re planning a Cycling Club day out on the 15th. We climbed Errigal last year and Sliabh League was suggested for this year. I wanted to walk the route in advance to see how suitable it would be for occasional walkers. Again, it was hugely enjoyable but I can still feel the aches 3 days later! I need to work on my hill fitness!

In a similar fashion to my new approach to cycling I’m not setting any big challenges or targets but I have committed to myself to get out at least once every month on either a Club or solo hike. I miss the hills but only really realise this when I’m in them.

Family News

It has been a pretty eventful few months for our family too. Conor turned 18 in March and did his Leaving Cert in June. He worked hard, didn’t get too stressed about it and although we didn’t have a mad exam-stressed house it was there at the back of everyone’s mind since Easter and the topic of far too many conversations to not have an effect. He finally finished on Friday 19th June and after a weekend of celebrating we headed off on a family holiday to Malta on Monday 22nd.

We went Monday to Monday and stayed in fantastic apartments in a small fishing village called Marsascala on the South West coast. On our first night we had a bit of a panic that it was very quiet but we didn’t arrive until just before 11pm and all the restaurants also close at 11pm! We managed food and a couple of drinks in a takeaway place and did a basic food and drink run in the local Asian shop that stayed open late. Over the next week of consistently hot and sunny days (28-33°C) we totally unwound and relaxed while enjoying trips to Valetta and a few other towns as well as a full day trip cruise along the Maltese coast to Gozo and a stop at the Blue Lagoon on our way back. We ate in a different place every night and had a fantastic time together. It was exactly what all of us needed!

I had hoped to get a hike on Malta, just as I have on the last two holidays, but it was simply too hot. I had planned a 14km coastal walk that started just around the corner from our apartment but when I tried it out with 6km on the Wednesday I realised it wasn’t feasible. I arrived home a sweaty mess with a banging headache that was probably the start of heat stroke and decided to scratch it and just relax. That was a lot easier…

On Tuesday 28th July Catriona and myself celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. It feels weird hitting that milestone as both of us remember our own parents celebrating the same and at the time they felt so old and we felt so young! No party or anything but we did go out on Sunday night for a lovely meal and a few drinks to spend a voucher bought for us by Catriona’s sister. It was for Jacksons Hotel in Ballybofey where we had our wedding reception so full circle back to where it all started.

The weekend past also marked 21 years since we moved into our house. The first few years we had been living in Letterkenny but we decided we wanted to move out of the town to somewhere quieter to start a family. Our home here meant we would be close to my Mum and Dad, still close to Letterkenny and Catriona’s Mum and Dad and gave us a choice of a number of playschool and National School options for any kids we would have. Catriona was heavily pregnant when we moved in and Owen was born just 6 weeks later on the 14th of September. Of course this means we have a 2nd significant birthday coming up in a few weeks. An 18th, 21st and 25th all in the one year.

Body Issues

Over the last few years I’ve been having progressively worse issues with sleep. I’ve been getting less quality sleep, waking most nights at least once and feeling less and less restored as time went on. This became even more noticeable with my change of job when I started needing a 10min afternoon nap more and more often to avoid falling asleep while driving!

I had put a lot of it down to being generally unsettled and a level of anxiety that wasn’t allowing me to switch off properly. However, back before Xmas I decided to start tracking my sleep and with a month’s worth of data I was able to identify that my overnight stress levels were far too high. Dr Google suggested that this was a significant indicator of sleep apnoea. Combined with my persistent snoring, afternoon sleepiness and a few other symptoms it was pretty clear and my GP agreed. He referred me to the respiratory clinic and back in May I was called for a sleep study. This means wearing a suite of sensors that monitor various body metrics overnight from 11pm to 7am. These were then forwarded to a consultant and in mid-June I was called to the clinic. The consultant informed me that I definitely had sleep apnoea with a score of 16 (<5 is normal, 5-15 is mild, 15-29 is moderate and 30+ is severe) which was significant but not worrying. However, the only way to treat it is with a hugely attractive CPAP machine which I’ve now had for about 3 weeks.

What it reminds me of…
What I sound like…
What it’s actually like…

The machine is taking quite a bit of getting used to and I have two versions of the mask as I found the first one a bit annoying. I’m alternating between them and some nights I’m taking it off in my sleep! However, I’m gradually getting used to it. My brother also has one and he said it took him about 6 months to get used to it but he wouldn’t sleep without it now. He had similar scores to me and described it as a life changer! The nights that I do wear it all the way through my score hasn’t been above 2 so it’s definitely having an impact.

Incidentally that score I initially thought was apnoea events during the night. At the mask fitting the nurse informed me that it’s the number of events per hour which I found pretty shocking!

On a much more positive note last Friday, after a 26 year break I finally got another tattoo! This one has been in the mix for at least 5 years and possibly longer. I’ve been ruminating on different designs off and on but in the last few months the idea started to gain a bit more momentum and then I eventually found a design that I really liked.

The exploded compass design grabbed me as it’s very different to almost all other compass tattoos that I’ve seen and the outdoor theme really suits me I feel. I then added the designs below which are Catriona and the boys’ names in ogham which is an ancient celtic script in which old Irish was first written. It’s purposely done quite rough to mimic the ogham examples that have survived from ancient time as they are mostly carved in rock.

Altogether, it took just over an hour and hurt far less than I remembered from my earlier tattoos. A combination of modern needles and guns and the fact that it is mostly fine linework with very little shading. Overall I’m absolutely delighted with it and have one or two more ideas rattling around in my head.

What’s Ahead?

Despite a couple of wobbles and a bit of a struggle to get back in a steady groove since the holidays I’m feeling in a pretty good place and in fact, writing this post has helped me a lot. I’ve missed blogging and want to get back to regular posting again. I’m going to aim for a minimum of two posts per month and see how that goes. I really like the weekly style that Unironedman and OMIL produce but that might just be a wee bit adventurous for now. I also really like the monthly recaps that Rootchopper produces so I figure that every two weeks would be a good compromise.

As part of my counselling Paul suggested keeping a journal. Not a digital one, but a pen and paper one. Over the last few weeks I’ve been looking at the various different systems out there and I quite like the Bullet Journal approach. I’ve adopted most of the principles of that but have tweaked it to be more like the Life Tracker system (basically a Bullet Journal rip-off). I’m still trying to get into the habit of using it but I’m getting there, trying not to force it too much and let it grow on me. It’s definitely very useful for tracking stuff though like To-Do lists, important dates and events and activities such as cycling, walking, books, TV shows and any recommendations I get. It’s very easy to get distracted by the phone and the idea behind pen and paper is that everything is in the one place. Writing forces you to slow down and think more and it removes the temptation to doom scroll and waste time on useless shit. I’m also hoping that journaling will help stimulate me to blog more often and more easily.

If you’re curious about the post title it’s a track by Bonnie Tyler. She passed away a short time ago and this was her follow-up to the massive hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart” . I like it as it fits my post but it was also featured on “Heaven and Hell” which was a compilation album with Meatloaf. I had that on a pirate knock-off cassette and pretty much wore it out. Back in the days when I had 15-20 cassette albums and thought I was made for life!

Dammit!

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Staying away from home for work for a few nights so I brought my bike and kit planning to get in a 40km spin this evening 🚴 Finished up nice and early, checked in to the hotel and getting ready I discover I’ve forgotten my shorts 🙈 I was really looking forward to it too 😔

What Next?

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The second of four Audax 200 routes I’d picked for this year is Round The Lough 200 in Larne. It’s on April 18th and ticks the Ulster box for the 4 Provinces Challenge.

However, I have a problem. First of all it’s only 4 weeks after my trip to Ballinasloe. Secondly, we have a work trade show starting on Sunday 19th and running for 3 days. That’s 3 days of long hours, lots of talking to customers and lots of time on my feet. Not ideal recovery. It took at least 3 days to recover after the last 200 and I was still tired later that week.

Second problem, unrelated to the first, is that I’ve done very little cycling (or activity of any sort) since Ballinasloe. I’ve only been out twice.

March 28th (one week after the Audax) I got out with the Club for 63km. I cycled up to Ballybofey, did 40km with the Club Stabiliser Group and cycled home again. It was quite a windy day and wasn’t easy but I was shocked how tired I was during and after the ride!

I had originally planned to go out again on Sunday but the weather was crap with wind and rain and still feeling tired from Saturday it was easy to make the choice to lie on in bed on Sunday morning. I also ended up driving the Dad Taxi at 2am which helped seal the deal. In fairness barely anyone from the Club made it out either!

I did get back out on Tuesday evening. Once again I cycled up from home, did part of the Club ride and cycled home again. I’ve had enough of riding in the dark at this stage so the plan was to get home just as darkness fell. With the hour change at the weekend this was now achievable but two mechanicals with clubmates delayed the start and I ended up riding the last 10min in the dark. It was grand though and a short bit like that wasn’t a hassle as I had good lights and reflectives just in case.

Thursday evening I was unable to get any motivation to go out. I think it was cold and windy again but it’s hard to blame the weather completely as I was out in far worse over Winter!

I had hoped to ride on Easter Saturday and Monday but Storm Dave* blew in on Friday and cancelled all cycling plans for Saturday.

*I think if the Met Office had a proper sense of humour they would have called it Storm Rodney in their follow up reports….

I still had hopes of riding Easter Monday but I woke up with rotten sinus congestion and a banging headache that lasted all day and didn’t really go away until Tuesday. Put me in a stinker of a mood.

The most constructive thing I did last week was to decide to change my Audax plans. With the clash with work the 18th just isn’t feasible. Looking at the Calendar though I’m limited with options. There are only three 200km events in the year for Ulster. The one in September has way too much climbing taking in Torr Head in Co. Antrim. This leaves me with one other option which is on 26th April. It’s the Dark Hedges 200. This is a route I’ve ridden as an event before and one I’ve done as a Permanent a few times. At 1800m of climbing it’s more than I’d like to be doing but beggars can’t be choosers and it’s only(!) 600m more than Larne. I’m hoping that familiarity will compensate for the climbing.

There’s a stinker of a climb to Feeney just after 150km that worries me the most!

The other advantage I had in mind was that it would give me an extra week to train and get ready. In effect it’s simply been an extra week to waste!

I said earlier that I can’t blame the weather but I think I will. The end of March and start of April have been horrible, consistently cold, wet and windy. We’ve even had a number of days with sleet, hail storms and some snow. I really enjoyed riding in Ballinasloe on a day that properly felt like Spring. Now with the time changed and Easter over it just feels like we should be getting some heat, or at at least less cold. It’s dragging me down and I can’t get any motivation to go out and get cold!

I’m loathe to finish on a downer so in the style of Unironedman, here are some things that made me laugh in the last few weeks…

One For The Road 200

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TL;DR I went, it was much harder than I expected but I finished!

I slept better than I expected in the B&B and woke with the alarm at 6am. Plenty of time for a shower to waken me up before a very decent breakfast. The B&B host had left me out an early continental breakfast and with the dining room to myself I filled up on cornflakes, toast, ham slices and a hard boiled egg with a couple of cups of tea. Just as well I had plenty of time to let that settle before starting to ride!

I got to the car park a few minutes after 7:30am and there were a lot of people ready to go already and some heading off for an early start. The official start time was 8am but with no mass start people were free to go from 7:30 and some were taking advantage. According to the organiser 52 people started altogether.

There were a few faces I recognised from events back in 2016/17 and others I knew from the WhatsApp group. I spotted one guy I met on my very first Audax ride and a few rides after that,  but by the time I registered he was gone with a group from his Club and I didn’t see him at any of the checkpoints. Looking at his average speed on Strava I’m not surprised at that.

I was ready to go just before 7:45am and as I rolled out the road I picked up a group of lads from Co. Mayo. They were fit and fast looking but I ended up staying with them for over half the ride. They were a really friendly bunch and while the group was changing as everyone took their turn up front there was plenty of time to chat and get to know them a bit.

I was a bit concerned by the speed which was 27-30km/h but I was comfortable in the bunch and was just about able to do a stint up front between 20-30km. That was my only time up front apart from a very short pull later in the afternoon but they were more than happy for me to sit in and come with them.

Starting off there was a lot of fog in Ballinasloe with visibility quite poor, down to less than 100m at times. There were quite a few cars on the road and some of the overtaking was pretty dodgy in the first hour as visibility ahead was questionable, especially with some approaching cars driving without lights in the fog!

We started getting glimpses of sun from about 30km in and suddenly the fog quickly thinned and disappeared. It was only then that I realised how wet I was from riding through the constant thick fog all morning as the sun glistened off wet arms and legs. I’d been wiping my glasses all morning and watching drips from my helmet but to be honest I was enjoying the chat and the ride too much to really take notice.

By the time we left the roads at 48km and picked up The Grand Canal Greenway North of Cloghan we were dry again and enjoying the first feelings of warm sunshine. Despite the starting temperature of 1°C and feeling cold for the first 30km I was glad I’d chosen to wear leg warmers rather than leggings and toe covers instead of full booties.

The Greenway was an absolute pleasure to ride on. The canal was a novelty for me and this was my first experience of riding along one. Most of the surface was tarred with some sections hard packed fine gravel. One section was along an old disused road. There were plenty of people out early, enjoying the Spring sunshine, but everyone was very accommodating. We were clipping along at a decent pace but pedestrians were watchful, everyone was sharing the space well and we got plenty of smiles, waves and hellos. I have a feeling the guys up front were playing their part too which definitely helped.

Altogether we had almost 23km on the Greenway and it was definitely the most enjoyable part of the day. We had plenty of chat and negotiating the occasional gate and bridge broke up the monotony enough to keep it interesting.

My initial plan had been to stop every 50km, to stretch for a few minutes and have a small snack and have something substantial to eat at 100km. The guys I was with planned to stop at 70km and 150km. I didn’t think I would be able to stay with them very long but I was enjoying myself and still feeling comfortable so decided to push on with them to the first checkpoint in Tullamore at 70km.

All four checkpoints for the route are at distilleries. Tullamore Distillery was the first and definitely the largest and most impressive of the day. We had had clear blue skies for a while now and with temperatures rising I took the opportunity to ditch the thermal skullcap and full finger gloves, switch the buff to my head and change to short finger gloves.

While I scoffed a banana the lads were discussing food. Most of them weren’t that hungry so the decision was made to push on to checkpoint 2 in Kilbeggan which was just under 20km away. I decided to go with them and they were pleased to bring me along.

At checkpoint 2 (Kilbeggan Distillery) we found a much more functional factory rather than the very tourist orientated one in Tullamore. Photos done and another helpful rider pointed us in the direction of a good filling station on the edge of town.

This was just over 1km off our route but was a great shout as it had hot food and sandwiches as well as good toilets and a sitting area that we soon took over. The place was mental busy so while the rest of the lads headed for food I dived for the loo taking the chance to strip off my heavier base layer, take the sleeves off my Perfetto jacket and reapply some very welcome chamois cream. Although I wasn’t sore I was feeling the distance a little and it was very refreshing just to remove my shorts for a few minutes to apply the cream (TMI?)

Feeling much better I loaded up with a huge sandwich, a very welcome cup of tea and a Lucozade Sport. We stopped here for about 30min and the lads were good company with plenty of banter.

After lunch we headed back to the distillery to rejoin the route. In Audax it’s OK to leave the route but you must rejoin at the same location.

Heading away from the filling station one of the lads (Noel) had a bit of a problem with his back wheel but a bit of footerin’ and it was sorted. However, a few kilometres later as we hit the first climb on the outskirts of town it happened again and it turned out to be his free hub. One of the other lads tried to sort it. He even headed off into a local estate with the wheel, found two fellas working on a car and got a load of WD40 into it but with no joy. When he got back Noel decided to scratch. We waited while he called his brother for a lift and one of the other lads (John) somehow spotted a problem with his rear tyre! He had hit a pothole earlier in the ride but thought he was OK. Turned out he had split his sidewall very slightly and a tiny piece of inner tube was bulging out! That could have caused a nasty accident later in the day if it had failed at the wrong time.

Noel gratefully donated his tyre and after a quick change we were off again. Altogether we lost about 45min but at least it was warm and dry and the guys were gutted about having to leave Noel. They tried their best but they seem to be a close knit bunch and it was nice to see how much it genuinely affected them.

I didn’t realise it at the time but there’s a significant climbing section just after Kilbeggan. I’d already said to the lads at lunch that I didn’t expect to stay with them for much longer and that they were to leave me if I fell off the back. The next 30km was pretty full on. We followed a network of small roads from Kilbeggan, through the small village of Ballymore and across the border out of Co. Offaly and into Co. Longford to Ballymahon.

I’m not sure if it was the delay outside Kilbeggan but the group was flying. I tucked myself into the middle and just did my best to stay with them. I had no chance to watch the route so left it to the guys up front. I was barely able to look at my Garmin and was riding mostly by feel but I definitely saw 30km/hr way more than I would expect to!

My memory of this section was nice country roads with just the ocassional car or tractor that were friendly, holding back to let us by waving and smiling. There were also a lot of people out gardening, cutting hedges and lawns, once again all friendly with waves and smiles and even some kids out cheering us on. It reminded me of stories of Paris-Brest-Paris and was a really lovely surprise considering it’s not a publicised event and the first year it’s been on. Maybe it was the good weather putting everyone in good form?

Leaving Ballymahon at just over 120km I was really feeling the pace. I was now consistently at the back of the group and kept falling back on the short punchy climbs as my legs were unable to summon much power any longer. My heart rate was red-lining far too often and I was trying to get the lads to go on without me. They were slowing up to let me catch on and two of them fell back to encourage me on different occasions. Eventually I convinced the second guy that they should go on without me at about 135km. They weren’t going that much faster than me as it was at least 15min before I lost sight of them but I felt a lot better with the pressure off and able to keep my own pace.

The third checkpoint was at 148km in Lanesborough at the northern tip of Lough Ree and I spotted telltale bright colours clustered outside the filling station about 700m before. It was time for a second lunch and a toilet stop. The Mayo lads were all here and I got the impression they weren’t much more than 10min earlier than me. I sat chatting to them and a few other riders that were there before us while I just about managed to eat the driest ham sandwich I’ve ever had!

I topped up myself and my bottle with a bottle of Boost and managed to persuade the lads to go on again without me. They genuinely wanted me to come with them and were reluctant to leave but I knew the last 50km were going to be tough and I wanted the space to take it on my own terms. They accepted my thanks and headed off while I got out the earphone for my left ear and put on an audiobook. I figured listening to the story of Touching The Void would be good motivation to keep going.

If one of the other riders hadn’t warned me at the filling station I would have ridden right past the very unimpressive third distillery which was basically a shop front and closed on a Saturday.

Leaving Lanesborough on the main N63 Roscommon road I could feel a fairly steady breeze had risen with flags flying free. After 7km I turned off the main road, heading down the western side of Lough Ree and straight into the breeze. It wasn’t very strong, probably 10-15km/hr but with tired legs it wasn’t particularly helpful or welcome.

Along a totally non-descript stretch of country road I stopped to record an important personal milestone.

Dusty Rhodes?

I’ve been trying to get to the Imperial Century since October when I first started feeling that full distance Audax rides could well be a thing again. It surprised me just how good it was to see it today.

That feeling didn’t last long! The next 25km almost broke me. A series of three climbs sapped whatever little energy I had left. Combined with the headwind and legs that couldn’t summon any power the hills seemed endless. They weren’t massive but on the straight roads they looked endless and seeing 6% on all three felt like they were missing a 1 on the front. The only way I managed to get up them was to promise myself a rest stop at every 10km. Thankfully this managed to coincide with the top of each climb.

Since leaving Lanesborough I was also dealing with a queasy stomach. On my longer rides I’ve been in the habit of topping up my bottle with a sugary drink and I’d taken the same approach today. Unfortunately, that seemed to be backfiring. A combination of too much sugar and probably dehydration, were upsetting my stomach and I couldn’t eat or drink while riding. Thankfully when I stopped it would settle allowing me to eat a mini Snickers, a few jelly babies and have a drink. All I had to drink was more of the sugary Boost when I would have loved some plain water, but I coped OK with the frequent breaks.

A long 3km descent after my 180km stop was incredibly welcome but one last short, steep climb sucked me back into the red and I had to stop again at 190km despite the last checkpoint being only 5km away.

With only 11km to the end I was hoping to be able to get it done in one last push but I really was running on fumes by now and despite the fairly level road and less of a breeze, I was more than happy to stop and record my 200km time.

Although Audax does have time limits racing is not part of it in any way. In fact, as well as having a time limit for each checkpoint there is also a minimum time limit and you’re not supposed to arrive or depart a checkpoint before a set time. However, no form of cycling can be competition free and a “good” 200 is considered to be less than 8hrs cycling time and less than 10hrs total time. Seeing 7hrs53min was very satisfying especially with how I’d been feeling for the last 50km.

The last 5km slowly rolled by as I spun gently towards Ballinasloe watching the road signs count down the final few km and finally seeing the welcome sign on the edge of town. A very tired and sweaty version of me climbed off the bike for the final time and one last selfie to record my finish time.

If I have enough hair to get helmet head I’m well overdue a visit to the barber!

Overall I really enjoyed the route. It was far harder than I expected from a flat route and took way more out of me than I was prepared for. Although I really enjoyed riding with the Mayo lads I probably should have let them go in Kilbeggan and burned matches I couldn’t afford in that 30km stretch.

I need to reflect over the next week and work out what went well and what lessons need learned. Despite my comment on Strava I already registered for the next event a few days ago and I’m pretty sure that I’ll be there on the starting line 🤞